Pedi Problems

The most common response when talking about anything pedicures is, "oh, how relaxing!" (Tip: if you have never had a pedicure but somehow find yourself in a situation where it is imperative to act like you have, just say "oh, how relaxing!" and your life will be all correct.) Don't get me wrong, they are relaxing. But sometimes they are also an hour's worth of tiny Asians asking if you have a boyfraaan. And sometimes they are massive pools of blood welling up from your toe cuticle which, even though you know to be completely normal for your particularly wonky body composition, cause each and every tiny Asian in the salon to run over, shout "Aahh!", run away, run back, hug you, and frantically run away again. And sometimes it takes a while for Kimmy to find the Atomic Orange nail polish that you picked just because it was nuclear themed to make touch ups on your now not-bleeding toe when all you want is to shove your head into a paper bag and slink out the door. Oh, how relaxing!