yesterday.......was bad. It was real bad. My constant prayer throughout the day was just for some encouragement, something to remind me that I'm worthwhile. I basically moped straight until 6:00 PM when, sitting outside, drinking a Coke, I just stopped thinking about all of the negative vibes that had accumulated in my brain, I stopped praying my constant whines and needs, and I "gazed at God in silence". I've only read a couple of chapters in Crazy Love but had to look no further than the first page to find a reminder "not to rush into God's presence with words [...] The wise man comes to God without saying a word and stands in awe of Him. " So I sat, I awed, I praised, and I gradually let myself start praying again, this time trying to focus on the positive and all of the opportunities I had been given to fully depend on God this day. Wouldn't you know I felt a little bit better? I still had looming rainclouds of calculus tests and CS tests and physics homework, but now I had an umbrella.
Fast forward to today - my favorite in a very long time, as I have seen the fruition of my desperate pleas for encouragement. I left my calc test mildly fried, to see "Cast your worries on the Lord, for He cares for you" chalked on the sidewalk. Every few steps, I saw a different verse. Then I encountered some old gentlemen wearing suits and passing out little Bibles. (I love old people, and there are so few on college campuses!) I struck up a conversation with one of them, talking of the beautiful weather and how it was a beautiful day for the mere fact of waking up this morning - but, of course, if he hadn't have woken up that would have been beautiful as well, he said. I walked away smiling after exchanging "Have a blessed day"!'s.
Cool Runnings was on while I was at the gym. Earphones don't stay in my ears, but I love this movie so much that I could recite all of the dialogue in my head while on the treadmill. In CS class, I finally put my finger on who my professor has reminded me of all year - the professor in The Magician's Nephew (ironic? CS class, CS Lewis?). I feel like if he invited me to spend the summer with him at his English manor, I would find Narnia in one of the closets. I got a letter I had been anticipating from my granddad, and a surprise letter from one of my favorite teachers. We got to make jungle noises in chorale. I got many more compliments on my dress than ever happens to me. And we had brinner. I couldn't help but praise God for such a good day, praise Him for such an awful yesterday which drew me to my knees in front of Him, and praise Him for carrying me through one to the other.
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